


Sometimes It's Hard

by HPOwlLover24



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romance, omgcp big bang, small mentions of anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 12:18:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8445562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPOwlLover24/pseuds/HPOwlLover24
Summary: Everything isn’t as easy as baking pies and shooting goals. In fact, it’s all a lot harder than that. Life and love are full of obstacles and, sometimes, it can be really hard. But, other times, it’s something completely different.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was planned and written before the Bitty Bomb that occurred. So please, keep in mind that this does not coincide with the timeline!

_This amazing art piece is by the amazing[Cam](https://camillo1978.tumblr.com/) who I was fortunate enough to be omgcp big bang partners with! I absolutely adore it!_

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

The stress seemed to be piling up in the corner of his mind, coming out only to remind him how easy it really wasn’t; how, in reality, it was easier to ruin everything instead. Ruin his friendships. Ruin his relationship. Ruin Jack’s career. Ruin his own well-being.

 

Bitty knew, lord did he know, what he was getting into when he committed to this with Jack. And, honestly, this what he wanted. This was all he could think about since that one class they had together. It was then he realized he was so completely head over heels for his captain.

 

But even though he knew, Bitty and Jack have still had a hard time.

 

After Jack had left him in his- now Chowder’s- room, Bitty was a flurry of confusion and hope. He didn’t understand what had exactly happened between Jack and himself; was it real or was he going crazy with post-graduation sorrow?

 

It wasn’t until he received the message from Jack immediately after he had left Bitty, that it really began to sink in. This was actually happening.

 

When Jack visited in July, it really solidified everything and Bitty felt like he was walking a dream every day.

 

And Jack, he was there and real and so careful about everything.

 

It wasn’t that he was super careful about being out and open in public. Actually, he was the one to take Bitty’s hand while they walked along the small lake in Madison. He was the one who wrapped his arm around Bitty’s shoulders and pulled him close as they sat in the bed of Coach’s truck under the sky of fireworks. He was the one to lean in and hug him when Bitty took him back to the airport.

 

It was as if Jack wanted to be quiet about being with Bitty, but, in the end, he really couldn’t help himself around his boyfriend.

 

If Bitty was honest, it was the sweetest thing about Jack and he absolutely loved it.

 

But he knew they had to be quiet, he knew they couldn’t risk it all the time, everywhere they went. It was fine in small-town Georgia, where people only live and breathe football and no other sport, but it wouldn’t be the same anywhere else.

 

When Bitty visited Jack in Providence, he could feel himself being pulled apart at the seams. He hated pulling away from Jack when he got too close or their fingers brushed. He didn’t want to be the one to look away when they stared at each other too long, but he had to. He didn’t even want to think about what some people may have thought seeing them hanging out together in the small bakery around the corner from Jack’s apartment.

 

The easy thing was their relationship. Jack was so easy to be with, so easy to talk to and spend time with. He was so kind and gentle and Bitty didn’t understand how he was so lucky to end up with him. And they understood each other. Jack understood why Bitty was scared of checking and why he was so different at home than at Samwell. And Bitty understood Jack, how he needed soft reassurance and quiet moments. He loved being with Jack and he loved this thing he had with Jack. It was so _easy._

 

But Bitty was so worried about ruining it all. He couldn’t humor the thought that Jack would leave him if he was outed, but he sure as hell didn’t want to do that to him either. He would rather never bake again than force Jack to come out to the world before he was ready.

 

And now, being in this relationship, he felt like every pair of eyes were on him. That everyone _knew_ he was hiding something, even if they didn’t know what.

 

And to make things worse, he felt like he was back in the closet all over again. He was, once again, the different and insecure son of a coach. He was back to hiding in a small, southern town where he felt more and more like a stranger.

 

Bitty sighed, flipping through his most treasured cookbook to whip up some snacks before he, the boys and Lardo had to head to Faber.

 

He knew Jack didn’t want this for him, of course he knew. And it wasn’t like Bitty was going to add pressure on Jack by saying anything about it either.

 

When he and the team went to the game a few weekends back, Jack seemed happy. It was like that entire last year with the Samwell team, he was joking and grinning during warm ups on the ice.

 

But Bitty knew he held anxiety about the game. He and Jack have been talking about it for ages. No matter what Bitty said, Jack was sure the entirety of Providence would hate him after their season opener. And, really, Bitty couldn’t do anything for him except console him and wait for the game to happen.

 

Bitty started humming quietly as he narrowed his eyes on a recipe for some cookies he thought would be okay.

 

The look on Jack’s face when they won, when everyone hugged him and he was hugging them back, it made Bitty’s heart melt. He was sure that he would never forget that smile on his face.

 

And when Jack’s eyes peered past his teammates and connected with his own, Bitty was sure this was something he would treasure for as long as he lived.

 

Bitty sighed again as he glared at his thesis notes and picked up his cookbook. He really should be trying to write some last minute thoughts and send them to Atley…

 

As if he wasn’t already worried to pieces about Jack, his junior year was proving to be more difficult than he anticipated. His classes were becoming more demanding and he was being forced to begin thinking of a thesis topic for his senior year. And of course, Lardo, Ransom and Holster were all graduating this year; he wasn’t sure he was going to be able to survive this one.

 

But if he wasn’t on the ice practicing or in the weight room with his teammates, he was studying for classes and brainstorming ideas for vlogs and his thesis. He has barely enough time before bed to Skype Jack before he had to sleep, too exhausted to consider doing anything else.

 

Bitty began to gather his ingredients and utensils, deciding that it was more important to get the cookies ready in time for when the entire team arrives, than brooding over time that passes too fast for his liking. They would probably be cool enough by the time they get to him if he makes them now, since it wouldn’t do for them to burn their tongues on cookies right before their home opener.

 

The Haus was silent except for Bitty’s vigorous mixing and the low sound of the playlist he had playing.

 

But these were the times Bitty really did enjoy. He took solace in the few moments alone, where it was just him and the music while he did the only thing he was completely sure of.

 

Eventually, Lardo wandered in, which Bitty didn’t mind because they were the only two in the Haus right now and she knew not to reach for sweets until Bitty said. She started the coffee pot, as was her pregame routine, and took a seat on the counter beside the oven, avoiding the flour beside her legs that Bitty had managed to spill.

 

The two were completely silent, and Bitty loved Lardo for that. She was his best friend and she could so easily read the mood he was in. He really didn’t know what he was going to do without her next year.

 

It was when Lardo poured two cups of coffee that he decided to speak. “I don’t know how you do it, Lards. Or Ransom and Holster. Or how Jack and Shitty did. Y’all must’ve had a vision from the Queen herself because I cannot pin down a single, simple topic.”

 

Not exactly what he really wanted to say, but it was always nice to talk to Lardo about anything.

 

Lardo rolled her eyes at him from her space on the counter, shooting him a fond smile. She sipped at her coffee, staring at the way his hands moved, probably taking mental notes for a future piece she might ask him to pose for. “It’ll come to you, Bits. You’re just psyching yourself out.”

 

Bitty groaned. “Maybe you’re right, but my advisor said I needed to get my possibilities to her in the next few weeks. But we have our opener tonight. And, what with going to Providence a while back for Jack’s game, I haven’t really had time to concentrate about anything that isn’t classes. How am I supposed to be able to even think about things like the American society and their symbolism of the apple pie to help shape the American Dream?”

 

“Hey, that actually sounded like you were going somewhere with that.”

 

Bitty froze in his stirring and stared up at her. “You’re right. I better write this down.”

 

He could feel Lardo’s eyes as he reached for his phone and tapped out what he just said into a new notes section. He tried to ignore the message from Jack, tried not to stare at it with a goofy smile.

 

“What else has the baker’s muffins?”

 

“What?” Bitty put his phone back down and grabbed his bowl, avoiding her eyes.

 

“C’mon, Bits. What else is bugging you? Is that really all that’s messing with your head right now?”

 

And Bitty wanted so badly to tell her everything. This was _Lardo_ , the one person he felt like he could talk to about everything. He didn’t even feel that way about his own mama sometimes.

 

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t do that to Jack. The thought of outing him like that made Bitty’s skin crawl and hate himself for even thinking it. It wasn’t his secret to tell, nor was it his career that was in jeopardy if he said anything.

 

And Bitty knew that Jack cared about him, that Jack was proud of being with him. He just wasn’t ready. And, lord, Bitty understood why and in no way wanted to force him.

 

But sometimes he wished that had someone to talk to.

 

“I’m sure.” He wasn’t sure he could give her a proper smile, so he grinned at his cookie dough as he began to place them on the cookie sheet. “Want to lick the bowl?”

 

“I thought you’d never ask.”

 

She took the bowl and spoon from him as he set to work on putting the cookies in the oven. Without looking too hard at the oven, he grabbed his coffee and sipped it. Bitty grinned, he didn’t even see Lardo put in the milk and sugar.

 

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, not really looking for anything to say to disturb the calm silence they had surrounding them. And this was another kind of peace Bitty always found himself looking for in recent days.

 

“But you know,” Lardo said, casually licking the dough of the spoon. “I’m always here to lend you an ear if you need it.”

 

Bitty paused, his mug halfway between his lips and the table, and smiled genuinely up at her. “Thanks, Lardo.”

 

She gave him her own smile and left him alone in the kitchen.

 

Eventually the timer on the oven beeped and Bitty was pulled from his random stream of thoughts to pull the cookies out of the oven before the burned.

 

Satisfied with the results, he left them on the counter and made his way back to his room to get ready before the rest of the team showed.

 

He started his pregame playlist and glanced at the photo of Jack he had hanging beside his bed.

 

It made Bitty’s heartache slightly. He missed Jack terribly, and, considering they haven’t had any time for themselves since Jack’s visit to Georgia and Bitty’s short visit to Jack’s apartment before the semester, they were long overdue for some alone time together.

 

Bitty sighed, hoping to relax a little more before their game tonight. He couldn’t get his head caught in the clouds. It was the first game without Jack and Shitty. It was their home opener. He needed to be ready. The coaches already told him he would be on the first line, that he needed to lead and take charge.

 

Oh sweet pies, he needed to calm down.

 

His phone buzzed in his hand and Bitty glanced at it before his face split into a grin. Perfect distraction.

 

Bitty paused his pre-game playlist and answered the call. “Hey honey. You okay?”

 

“Hey, Bits. Just wanted to call you, you know…”

 

Bitty chuckled, gathering some more of his things. This boy and his silly superstitions. “Mhm…alright. How was practice? Are you resting for the second half later?”

 

“Actually, practice has been…rescheduled. Tater and Guy were fooling around and now a chunk of center ice is missing.”

 

Bitty giggled, “Oh lord, those boys. I can’t imagine y’all’s coach being very happy about that.”

 

He could practically see the one armed shrug he was getting. “Definitely not, but we have been doing alright lately, so I don’t think he was too upset.”

 

Bitty scoffed, “If you call winning four straight games at home ‘alright.’”

 

Jack’s chuckle was drowned out by the sound of a car’s horn.

 

“Jack…” Bitty’s tone was warning. “What have I told you about calling and driving? I don’t care about superstitions enough for you to be doing something dangerous and illegal.”

 

“I know Bits,” Jack sighed. Bitty could still hear the smile in his voice in his reply, “I have that ear thing Shitty got me. The one you set up last time you were here.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“I promise I have both hands on the wheel.”

 

“Okay, you can stop with the chirps, Mr. Zimmermann.”

 

“But it’s tradition.”

 

Bitty snorted.

 

“So, I also called to tell you, I’ll see you tonight.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Well, practice is cancelled and tomorrow’s skate is late, so I can leave later tonight and be alright.”

 

“I- oh my goodness. You’re coming to our opener?”

 

“Shitty is, too. I’m on my way to get him from the bus station now.”

 

Bitty could feel the tears prickling at the corners of his eyes and he tried not to sniff. “Oh, my…the boys will be so thrilled! I should make sure Lardo knows. And Ransom and Holster. Just so you know, they may try and get you to come to the kegster later. But, of course, you don’t have to go…”

 

Bitty continued to ramble on about how excited he and the boys will be, trying to not really think about the fact that Jack was coming…Jack is going to be _here_.

 

He really tried not to dwell on it too much. This would be the second time they would be in front of the boys as….as a couple, but Providence had been easier, it was new and different. But Samwell…Samwell was home. Bitty couldn’t screw this up for Jack, he had to keep himself in check.

 

This was going to be hard.

 

“Hey, Bits. I’ve got to go. I’m almost at the station. But I’ll see you tonight”

 

“Yeah,” Bitty’s voice was breathless from nerves and excitement. “You will.”

 

Jack was silent on the other end for a moment before he spoke again. “I miss you. I can’t wait to see you. It’ll be almost like old times.”

 

Bitty laughed, “Yeah. Not exactly, but pretty close.”

 

“Love you.”

 

“Love you, too, honey. See you soon.”

 

He hung up and started his playlist again.

 

_Please, Queen Bey, give me strength._

 

Bitty sighed, and, after a few more songs, he made his way downstairs to join the rest of his Hausmates as they got ready to head to Faber. As everyone was gathering in the living room, he relayed the details, Lardo confirming with Shitty’s messages to her, and butterflies fluttered in his stomach as he watched his teammates laughing and yelling their cheers of excitement.

 

“Jack _and_ Shitty are coming to the opener!”

 

“Really? This isn’t a joke?”

 

“‘Swawesome!”

 

“Aww…they really do care.”

 

“Chill, man. Don’t cry.”

 

“He’s not crying, Jesus.”

 

Lardo glanced at Bitty, her small grin lighting up her entire face. She stood beside him and wrapped an arm around his waist, sighing quietly as they watched the boys jumping on the couch and cheering loud enough that the LAX bros could probably hear them across the street.

 

“It’s been a while since we’ve seen them, huh?”

 

Bitty shrugged, “We saw them both in Providence.”

 

“Shitty left after the game and we really only saw Jack on the ice, Bits.”

 

Bitty didn’t dare to look at her, he was sure that she was going to be able to figure it all out if he did. He felt like he was being so obvious right now; his stomach twisted at the idea of Lardo figuring it all out. She would definitely tell Shitty. Maybe Ransom and Holster, too. From there, it would be overheard and then everyone in the Haus would know.

 

“Don’t worry, Bits. Even if we miss ‘em as much as we do, we’ve still got each other. We’ll just have to make the most of it while they’re here.”

 

And, just by that simple statement, Bitty’s worries vanished and he felt like such an idiot.

 

Even _if_ someone caught them, these were their friends, people Bitty knew they could trust. He knew Lardo, Holster and Ransom would defend them to the grave. That Shitty would argue their way out of anything, if necessary. That the frogs would cover them and have their back.

 

And Jack, he knew that, too. That was why he wanted to risk it and come see Bitty.

 

Bitty wrapped his own arm around Lardo’s shoulders, smiling widely as Ransom started gathering his teammates, his friends. “Yeah, you’re right.”

 

Sometimes…sometimes it’s hard, but it’s also amazing.

 

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

 

As the end of the season approaches, Jack finds himself relaxing more and more, which is not something that he could have said two years ago. And he knew exactly who to thank for that.

 

Normally, Jack would be stressing about making it to the post season or letting his team down. But he just had the best career season in rookie history and, though the Falcs won’t be making it to the finals this year, he was clicking so well with his new teammates. He couldn’t find it in himself to even think about being stressed out about hockey.

 

No, instead he found himself with the rare occasion of having the next day off. So, he took the drive to Samwell to meet up with everyone. And it seems that his timing is perfect because he was able to see three of his closest friends kiss the ice.

 

He met his friends at Faber, eager to see them, to see Bitty, and be around good company for the next twenty-four hours. He knew they would be up most of the night, he knew they would be on the roof probably all night. But, honestly, Jack was beyond caring at this moment. He just wanted to be around them.

 

The rooftop was as he remembered it last year, barren and cold. But, soon, there was a small fire and blankets were laid out and past and current Wellies were drinking and chirping each other. Jack was satisfied to watch everyone quickly make the rooftop feel like home, despite the fact that they really shouldn’t be up there or they shouldn’t be up this late.

 

He sat beside Bitty, Shitty lounging on his right side, and tried to avoid any thoughts that would lead to him grabbing Bitty’s hand outright.

 

Jack grinned as he stared at his past teammates, relishing in the extra warmth that Bitty provided him on his left and the happiness that engulfed him as they celebrated Ransom’s, Holster’s and Lardo’s last few days as Wellies. It was still slightly chilly on the rooftop, but Jack didn’t mind. And now that Bitty was, again, comfortable in Jack’s jacket, Jack was content.

 

Shitty jumped up, “As per newly established tradition, we are allowed to ask you each one question that you have to answer! No if’s, and’s, or but’s.”

 

“Wait, bro, do you and Jack even count?” Holster grinned.

 

Ransom nodded, “Yeah! With Bits, Chowder, Dex and Nursey, that’s enough people to come up with questions.”

 

Lardo laughed, “The new Captain will be able to handle all of this, won’t he?”

 

Jack turned to Bitty, smiling fondly at the light blush that spread across his cheeks. He was so proud of him; he went from fainting at the slightest touch to starting line and, now, captain of the team. Jack had never felt so much pride for someone else in what they have been able to do, and he found himself enjoying the feeling quite a bit.

 

In all honesty, Jack can’t really think of a time he had been happier than being here with his old teammates as they reminisced on the year and told him and Shitty stories of what they had missed.

 

Even while he was away this entire year, Jack had never felt so close to such a diverse group of people. There were frequent messages in the chat that had been kept alive even after he and Shitty graduated. There were constant invites to come down and chill when he had a break from the Falconers or forced invites to go up and relax in his apartment. There were constant asks to have a group Skype call just to catch up.

 

He wasn’t quite used to having so many people who genuinely cared about him, so many people who were hounding him only to make sure he was okay and not drowning in his newfound stardom in Providence.

 

And it was a wonder that they all put up with him at all. Of course, he got them tickets to his game regularly, but they all threw in money to cover food and gas to the games. They always insisted they chill when he had an off day and it led to some class skipping in some cases that Jack wasn’t particularly proud of instigating. As it was, everyone was planning to stay at Samwell long enough to attend his last home game of the season and Shitty was more excited than anyone else that they were going to have a few days to hang out before everyone headed back to their respective parts of the continent for the summer.

 

“Y’all need to stop reminding me. It just keeps making graduation more real!”

 

Dex chuckled as Nursey waved his hand, “Chill, Bits. Such is the college circle of life. People come, they graduate. You just make life-long friends along the way.”

 

Chowder jumped up, reaching to shake Bitty’s shoulders excitedly. “Yeah! And we’ve made it to the finals two years in a row! Next year, for sure, we’ll take it all.”

 

Jack chuckled at Chowder’s enthusiasm as the others yelled and cheered. He chanced a glance at Bitty, who was gazing fondly at his teammates with tears in his eyes, and he felt his heart expand in his chest again.

 

“But seriously, we need to come up with some good questions.”

 

“Go right ahead, Rans and I are like an open book. I’m sure you won’t be able to find anything suitable-”

 

“Maybe we should ask how many times they’ve hooked up with each other.”

 

The glare Holster shot Nursey was a particularly cold look, but Nursey just smirked in response, leaning back against Chowder, who looked like he was experiencing the full wrath of Holster’s glare in his place.

 

Dex rolled his eyes. “How about, instead of being a jerk, and creating assumptions about sensitive subjects, you ask a legitimate question?”

 

Nursey's smirk turned into a grin, “But dude, it’s why you love me so much.”

 

Dex pushed him into Chowder, where he contently snuggled up and Chowder looked like he was just happy that it didn’t flare up into a larger argument.

 

Jack watched as Chowder’s arm curled around Nursey’s waist and noticed how no one around them reacted in the slightest.

 

Jack leaned over to whisper to Bitty, “I thought Chowder was dating the girl from the volleyball team?”

 

Bitty giggled, and the sound distracted Jack for a second, “Yes, he still is. The frog bromance is very touchy and sillier than Ransom and Holster’s.”

 

“Oh,” Jack murmured. He paused before whispering, “And Ransom and Holster are just bros still?”

 

Bitty blinked up at Jack and started laughing. He felt a little bit of pride for being able to make him laugh so easily.

 

Bitty turned his attention back to the group, Lardo asking him something about him putting up with the frogs after they left.

 

A wave of nostalgia fell over Jack as he remembered that this time last year he and Shitty were the ones graduating. He remembered how content he was with college and graduating, how much fun he had even if he didn’t talk as much as Shitty did. He remembered sitting next to Bitty and, when he woke up the next morning to the others whispering about breakfast, he remembered seeing blonde hair and smelling cinnamon.

 

He reached over and placed a gentle hand on Bitty’s shoulder for a moment before pulling away. He hated being sneaky like they were and he wanted, more than anything, to just hold his hand. But he knew why he couldn’t just yet, and he hated himself for that.

 

Bitty glanced at him, brown eyes shining brightly, before he adjusted himself so no one else noticed.

 

Jack knew Bitty wanted to reach for him also, but he was so much more careful then Jack was and, though he hated that it had to be this way, he was grateful. He had no idea how he ended up being so lucky to get someone who was so understanding. To have someone who was this loving and caring; it was a treasure.

 

He wished he could just show Bitty, show everyone, just how much he loved Bitty and how much he cared for him in return.

 

But he still had that same fear that followed him from when he was in the juniors. It was slight, not as overpowering as it used to be, but it still lingered. And, though he definitely feared for what could possibly happen to his career now that he finally got to the point he’s been hoping for, he feared terribly for what could possibly happen to Bitty. He was still in school, still not out to his parents, and Jack didn’t want to think about what some hockey fans would even _try_ to say to him.

 

Jack held back his disgusted shiver at the thought of homophobic people coming after Bitty while he was still studying here. Especially because he was so far away.

 

And it wasn’t like Jack didn’t trust Bitty to take care of himself because he knew he could. If he needed help, they could count on the rest of the team to have their backs, too. But, just the added stress made Jack nervous to even bring up the subject of coming out to the Falconers.

 

Jack hated the idea of waiting, but he wanted to make sure Bitty would be able to enjoy the rest of his college time at Samwell.

 

Bitty seemed to also think something along the same lines as Jack because he has never brought up the idea of Jack coming out. Jack honestly didn’t know if he was disappointed with that or content.

 

He nearly jumped when he felt something brush against his bare forearm. It wasn’t as if Jack wasn’t usually lost in his thoughts, but he should be here with the team right now.

 

Bitty looked up at him, concern in his eyes that made Jack's heart clenched. He really loved this man.

 

"Are you okay, honey?" His voice wasn't louder than a whisper so it wouldn't carry to their friends. "If you want, we can leave for a bit? Or maybe you want to sleep? I can give you my key..."

 

"I'm thinking about coming out."

 

He didn’t exactly mean for it to slip out; he didn’t understand why he chose now, of all times to say it.

 

But it felt great. And now, being around all of his friends, it felt right.

 

“I…wait…what?”

 

Jack knew what he wanted to do, but he couldn’t force Bitty into it if he didn’t want to. So he didn’t take Bitty’s hand yet. “We don’t have to make it loud and official. I want you to talk to your parents on your own time. But…we could start off smaller.”

 

Jack glanced at the rest of the guys, noticing that they were all trying to lift Ransom onto their shoulders for whatever reason. He grinned and realized he was so tired of hiding from them, they were basically family. And, suddenly, Jack thought it was silly to hide from people who were so accepting of who they were as individuals.

 

But, he would only do it if Bitty was okay with it. He needed Bitty to be comfortable with it.

 

“Are…are you sure?”

 

Jack nodded once. He was.

 

Neither of them moved for a moment, they only stared at each other and Jack could see Bitty trying to work out every possible outcome in his head. Jack smiled, unable to help himself.

 

Bitty, though he didn’t look it, sighed, exasperated. “This is serious Mr. Zimmermann.”

 

“I know. I just…” Jack’s fingers twitched and he really wanted to hold Bitty’s hand, maybe kiss him. “I’m serious about this. I want to tell them. And I only want to do it if you’re okay with it.” 

 

“But,” Bitty glanced at the team, who seemed to be talking amongst themselves enough to not notice the serious conversation they were currently holding. “What if they say something? I know they would never do something like this on purpose, but what if they out you? Or say the wrong thing around the wrong people?”

 

Bitty seemed more nervous about Jack coming out than Jack was, and it was strangely comforting. Bitty didn’t want to come out, not because he didn’t want to, but because he was scared for Jack.

 

Jack smiled and grabbed Bitty’s hand. “I just care about you. Besides, you don’t give our guys enough credit, eh?”

 

“What the fuck?”

 

Bitty jumped and Jack had to tighten his grip on around his fingers so that it didn’t seem like an accident. He turned towards Shitty, who was eyeing both of them and their intertwined hands with a suspicious stare.

 

Jack met his eye steadily. This was his best friend, he would be proud of both of them, wouldn’t he?

 

Now everyone was eyeing them quietly, confused over Shitty’s outburst and glancing between Jack and Bitty.

 

His heart was pounding in his ears and, for a moment, it was all he could focus on. Then he felt Bitty’s fingers tighten around his own and he smiled.

 

“Shits, this is my boyfriend, Eric. Bits, this is my best friend, Shitty.”

 

For a terrifying moment, the boys were silent and Jack’s mind was racing a mile a minute and all he could really focus on was the way Bitty’s hand started to squeeze his hand to the point where he started to wonder if he would start losing circulation soon. If it weren’t for that, Jack was sure that he would actually be falling right now.

 

Then the silence broke and it was like all hell broke loose.

 

The entire team literally jumped them and Jack was engulfed in hockey bro’s hockey-like cellies. It was like they were all on the ice again.

 

And he realized he actually wasn’t completely focused on what anyone was telling him because he couldn’t understand a word anyone was saying. It was all incoherent sounds and a jumble of limbs.

 

He could still feel Bitty’s hand in his own, their fingers still intertwined and Jack found himself looking for those large brown eyes he adored.

 

Eventually, he found them after peering around Shitty, next to an excited Chowder, who seemed to be nearly choking Bitty in his excitement. He smiled and moved towards him, completely ignoring their friends to get Bitty back in his arms.

 

This was perfect, no more hiding here.

 

“See? I told you it wouldn’t be that bad.”

 

Bitty rolled his eyes, “Yeah, besides the horrible deafening silence at the beginning and nearly being killed by tackling hockey bros, I’d say you’re right honey.”

 

Jack’s smile widened, completely happy as he wrapped an arm around Bitty’s waist, pulling him closer. He relished in being able to do this, being able to hold him around the people they cared about. It was probably crazy to think but Jack was seeing everything through a warm, fuzzy filter and it made his stomach twist pleasantly.

 

“Jack, I swear to all fuck, if you don’t kiss Bits, I will.”

 

Laughter erupted around them and Jack, surrounded by friends on the rooftop at Faber with his boyfriend, kissed Bitty and he can’t remember a time he was happier.

 

Sometimes it’s hard, but it’s also fun.

 

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

 

Bitty sighed, typing slowly on his computer about pie and the American Dream. It was dreary writing this out, but he needed to get at least his outline and bibliography to Atley by the end of the weekend. But it was proving to be nearly impossible to finish this because it was so hard for him to actually focus.

 

The team was really pushing for a title this year after coming in second for two years in a row, and he’s been with the coaches a lot lately to fix this title-less problem they had. He’s been spending a lot of his time thinking up practice schedules with the coaches, so most of his days had been spent at Faber, coming up with lifting schedules as well as ice time before the season really picked up. Bitty has been gathering schedules and making sure that everyone could properly make the set times that had been assigned without missing out on classes or Samwell life.

 

And, of course, the new taddies have proven to be a bit of a handful, always suggesting that Jack and Holster should drop by to visit and sign some things. And Nursey has gotten into some fiery arguments with one of the new centers about white privilege…which has definitely been interesting and also hard for him to handle. Not to mention the new manager. They were great and all, but they weren’t Lardo.

 

Bitty has been trying to talk Chowder into taking an A with him, but it’s been a hopeless cause. Chowder won’t even let him discuss it with him anymore because he thinks Bitty was voted for a reason and also deserves it. Bitty _knows_ why he got the C, but, lord, sometimes it’s just so much to think that the frogs and taddies all actually wanted him to be their Captain.

 

Of course, Chowder still helps as much as he can, he’s been an angel, really, but since he’s always at the net, it’s kind of hard for him to be much help when a argument breaks out center ice.

 

Dex and Nursey have also stepped it up, seemingly trying to fill Ransom’s and Holster’s shoes and skates. They argued less and helped more. And, now that they were in the Haus too, they were a lot more help with the huge number of tadpoles that they had this year, despite their arguments with the tadpoles. Somehow, they always managed to wander into the Haus whenever they thought the hockey alums were showing. It was strange to Bitty and he was beginning to think they should do team activities, like watching some games or throwing a regular kegster. He would hate to have to attempt a curfew…that would be odd for the Haus.

 

Along with that, his classes are requiring him to do so much more than he’s actually used to. More papers, more seminars, more exams. It’s been utterly horrible. Bitty understood that it was supposed to be like this because yes he was a senior, but haven’t professors ever heard of senioritis?

 

This also just took away from any time that he got to have to talk to Jack. It’s been nice not having to lock himself in his room whenever he wanted to call or Skype, but it wasn’t of much use because he was always studying or practicing or sleeping.

 

Jack, also, has been under the radar because of his spectacular first season. Many people think the Falconers, after coming so close to making it to the semifinals last year, could actually go all the way to the Stanley Cup Finals this year.

 

Bitty would be ecstatic if that happened, he and the boys have already planned watch parties, but the added stress it seemed to cause Jack made him loathe all the people eyeing him.

 

This added radar has also taken from their time. Jack wasn’t able to find times to sneak away to Samwell and Bitty hadn’t been able to visit Jack before coming to Samwell because of it. Jack’s tried to find the time, but Bitty pushed away and didn’t want the press to bother him because his “ex-teammate” was taking him away from them.

 

Bitty also didn’t want to be on the radar at all. One small slip, and Jack would have the press on him for a different reason.

 

This past summer, before he visited the Zimmermanns in Montreal in June, he came out to his parents. It wasn’t…as horrible as he thought it would have been, though his parents did give each other a look before responding. But they accepted it, they even went so far as saying they knew something was “not wrong but different” to put it in his mother’s words.

 

His parents didn’t love him any less, they were still proud of him. And Mama even told him that Coach had a replica of Bitty’s freshman hockey jersey hanging in his office along with the puck from his first game against Yale on his desk, which he told everyone about.

 

And, though Bitty was touched, he knew there was some part of this that his parents didn’t really understand. But, they were willing to learn and accept.

 

It was better than anything he could have hoped for.

 

And Montreal was another story.

 

The Zimmermanns basically welcomed him with open arms, already having an open spot for him in their small family, which warmed Bitty to no end.

 

Jack was able to take a few weeks off to stay with his parents before heading back to Providence and Bitty joined per Jack’s request, staying in the Canadian wonderland that was their private house.

 

It was unreal that he was getting to experience any of this in any sort of way. He saw so many beautiful sights with Jack and his family. It was so different from small-town Georgia and Bitty loved all of it.

 

He also met so many hockey legends that complemented his pies, some of them were guys he never thought he’d ever get to see on the ice. Jack and Bob chirped him to an inch of his life after he met Crosby. He was sure that he was dreaming it all.

 

Waking up every morning next to a Canadian Adonis himself was absolutely no help.

 

But it was unbelievable to think that he was so easily accepted, just like when he first came out to Shitty and the boys. After being shut away for so long, it was weird in itself. A good weird.

 

But now, getting used to being without Jack has proven to be difficult. The last time he had seen Jack in person was when they took their trip to Montreal. He missed him something awful and, this lack of calling, was also beginning to stress him out mildly.

 

Bitty sighed again, copying down the title of another paper he would have to look over again later. He should really email Atley about expanding his idea a bit…maybe include other food instead of just pie. Like the hot dog. “It is something that people think of when you think America. Summer. Baseball. Hot dogs. Homemade apple pie served on the fourth of July,” he murmured, typing a few notes on his laptop.

 

“You trying to write a song bro?”

 

Bitty’s head whipped up to meet Shitty’s eyes as he leaned against the doorframe to the kitchen. “Shitty? Oh my goodness! I didn’t know you were coming down this weekend!”

 

Shitty laughed as Lardo came around the corner. “No pie? Bits, I’m disappointed.”

 

“Lardo!” Bitty jumped up to hug them both before tugging on one of his aprons. “Well, I’m sorry. Being a senior isn’t easy for me.”

 

“Yeah, no shit. How’s that C feeling?” Shitty took a seat across from Bitty’s laptop as Lardo peered at what he was searching.

 

“It feels mighty heavy, let me tell ya. I swear Nursey has it out for one of the new tadpoles. And Coach Hall and Murray are pushing hard to win this year. We’re all kinda tired of fallin’ short.”

 

Shitty hummed, “Well, they got the right man leading them. It’ll all come out for the best.”

 

Bitty turned away from him, hiding his blush from view, “Oh quiet you. Let me try and fix y’all something really quick. I’m sure there’s something quick I can bake.” He glanced over his shoulder and grinned, “And of course, help yourself to the coffee. I’ve missed y’all so much, we really should catch up!”

 

Bitty missed this, missed the times where he could just start baking and have an easy conversation with his friends.

 

It wasn’t like it was horrible with his new teammates, he loved his frogs and the new taddies and the old taddies were great as well, but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t like when he was a sophomore…when Lardo and Shitty were here and out in the Reading Room and Ransom and Holster were still up in the attic causing a racket with Dex and Nursey walking in and arguing, followed by a confused and nervous Chowder. Back when Bitty would be baking in the kitchen and Jack was at the table, typing away while casually throwing a chirp at him, causing him to flush or laugh while attempting to finish up a pie.

 

His original teammates who always had his back.

 

And, talking to Shitty and Lardo, brought back the sad feeling of nostalgia. This was it; Bitty was going to be leaving the best place he had ever been a part of. It was such a changing point and soon it was going to be a memory that he would only occasionally visit for alumni events.

 

Shitty startled him by wrapping an arm around his shoulder, “Hey, Bits. You alright?”

 

Bitty hadn’t even realized he’s been staring at the lump of cookie dough for the past several moments. He sniffed, “Oh, yeah. Just thinking, ya know? Senior year and all that…”

 

Shitty patted his shoulder consolingly, “Yeah, we understand Bits. That’s why we’re planning a kegster.”

 

“What?”

 

Shitty jumped excitedly, “Yeah! It was going to be a surprise, but, man, I can’t stand to see you so sad.”

 

“We called up Holster and Ransom and they’re taking care of the technical issues. We came to see you and buy the booze and start the tub juice,” Lardo said from her spot at the table. Bitty looked over and saw her frown. “We tried Jack, but he’s kinda busy, as you probably know.”

 

Bitty nodded, turning back to his cookies. It was for the best, Jack wasn’t one for the kegsters anyways.

 

“It’s not going to be another epikegster, right? Y’all, we have practice tomorrow afternoon, I don’t think the new tadpoles would enjoy it all too much if they're going to have to wake up with the after effects of tub juice in their system.”

 

“Nah, it’s not going to be that big. But we do gotta introduce them to the Samwell Hockey tradition, don’t we?”

 

Bitty laughed and finished putting the cookies into the oven. “Alright, alright. Let’s get this place ready and, when the cookies are done, we can go shopping.”

 

And, suddenly, it was almost like old times. Lardo and Bitty were setting up the living room and digging out the “do not enter” tape and Shitty recruited their frogs into going out with him to buy the alcohol and tub juice necessities.

 

A few hours later, while they were still settling the Haus and everyone was laughing and enjoying the company, Ransom and Holster showed up waving and hollerin’ at everyone. Bitty laughed as they threw him onto their shoulders and jumped around the living room chanting, “Senior. Senior. Senior.”

 

It was well into the night before the party really kicked up and it was just as Bitty remembered the older kegsters. Shitty was manning the tub juice and dancing randomly as his favorite songs came on. Lardo and Farmer were killing everyone who dared to challenge them at beer pong or flip cup. Dex and Nursey and Chowder were off to the side cheering them on and laughing at the lax bros who thought they could take them. Ransom was the DJ, adjusting the sounds constantly to the music and Holster was near him with Bitty, dancing to every other song.

 

Bitty loved it, loved having his friends back to enjoy some time with them. He knew, after this year, everything would be different.

 

Holster grabbed his hand as another song began playing and he laughed as Holster pulled him in front of the blaring speakers, spinning and dipping him with ease. Around them people were laughing and staring at Holster, recognizing one of the top draft picks in the NHL and Samwell alum with ease.

 

It was hard to ignore all the people around them, too many of them were staring at them and Bitty was sure it was because of Holster that they were looking. It made him nervous, but he tried to ignore it. Holster was his friend, and he was here to have a good time.

 

Still, Bitty was glad that they put some of the new taddies with Whiskey and Tango on bouncer duties.

 

They laughed as Holster spun Bitty again and he glanced up to see Ransom wink at him before starting Drunk In Love.

 

“Mind if I cut in?”

 

He was sure if he had anymore to drink, he would have fallen with how fast he spun around. But that thought took a backseat to what was flooding his mind.

 

“Jack?”

 

And there he was, in a Samwell t-shirt and jeans looking like he just walked out of Bitty’s memories with ease and soft blue eyes. “Hey, Bits.”

 

Holster pushed Bitty to Jack and somewhere in the back of his mind he remembered there were eyes here, a lot of people here knew Jack, knew who he was. He shouldn’t be doing this…they shouldn’t be doing this. But Jack took his hand and spun him and he was having a hard time trying to find it in himself to care.

 

Occasionally, a person would come in and ask for a picture or an autograph, which was fine and Jack handled them with ease. But, soon, every one of his old teammates were there and they were dancing together and it became impossible for them to reach Jack.

 

Bitty could see Ransom and Holster dancing by the speaker so that Ransom could still DJ. Chowder had Farmer in his arms and they were giggling as Farmer dipped Chowder. Dex and Nursey were next to them, smiling as well as Nursey tried to, insanely, lift Dex. Shitty, having abandoned the tub juice, was with Lardo, simply moving to the beat of the song that Bitty couldn’t care to recognize at the moment.

 

No, he was too busy trying to focus on the fact that Jack actually had his hands on his hips.

 

“Jack…” Bitty started, his tone warning.

 

“It’s fine, Bitty.” Jack moved to whisper in his ear, “Just relax. I want to do this.”

 

He glanced around them and realized, despite their small group, their friends formed a sort of protective circle around them. The lights were low, as they usually were at kegsters, and he couldn’t see people past them. So Bitty, despite the slight anxiety at the thought of being seen, eased into the music and Jack’s embrace.

 

It was so much better than Bitty remembered kegsters being. There was a small thrill burning in him when he focused on moving his hip in Jack’s hands as he gazed into bright blue eyes.

 

Sometimes it’s hard, but it’s also exciting.

 

_/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_ _/\\_

 

“Last question, everyone.”

 

Jack glanced at George, thankful that she was finally calling it. He tried to keep his hands still, unwilling to show how eager he was to leave to a room full of reporters.

 

“Well, Mr. Zimmermann, do you think it’s in the cards for the Falconers to make it to the Stanley Cup Finals this season?”

 

Jack tried to hold back the sigh that threatened to break loose, George would kill him.

 

“I think if we keep playing strong and keep moving forward, we’ll all be very happy with the outcome. It’s hard to determine with so much game left to play, so I’m not going to try.” Jack glanced at all the photographers in front of him. “But, I will say, this is a great group of guys, and I’m happy to be a part of this organization. I’m going to try my hardest, just like we all will. So, be ready to keep watching us hit the ice for the next few weeks.”

 

A few of the journalists laughed, while others continued to scribble furiously at their notebooks. He probably shouldn’t have stated it the way he did. No doubt, someone will make it seem like he was calling out the Sharks or something.

 

But, before he could think too much about it, Jack was up and out the door before anyone else tried to force more questions on him.

 

George was there, waiting for him. “I’ll try to placate the rest of them. You’ll wanna get going if you want to make it to the meet up before the ceremony.”

 

Jack nodded his thanks and nearly ran to the locker room to quickly change into his suit.

 

He knew this was going to happen and he had planned accordingly. But he still hoped that there was minimum traffic on the way to Samwell.

 

It wasn’t too bad at least. Even if he had to rush through press now to make it there an hour before the ceremony started, he wasn’t too put out. Besides, Third covered for him after they beat the Aces so that he could make it to Bitty’s championship game on time. This was nothing compared to what that could have possibly been like. As it was, he still owed Third one of Bitty’s pies.

 

Jack grinned to himself as he left the locker room into the player’s garage, hopefully after today, that won’t be such a big issue.

 

The drive to Samwell was, thankfully, traffic-less, which allowed Jack’s mind to wander slightly as he continued down the highway. It’s been nearly two years since his entire life had actually gotten so much better. All because of one person, because of one action he'd done so long ago. And they’ve both come so far.

 

Jack was very proud to say that the Samwell Hockey team is now an NCAA championship winning team. Bitty led the team to their long awaited, championship title. It was amazing. Jack, Shitty and Lardo were all there to cheer them on to victory. And, even if he wasn’t on the ice with him, he could practically feel Bitty’s pride when he looked up and saw them in their own little celebration.

 

After that, everything kind of a slowed down for Bitty, which gave him time to focus on his thesis and what he wanted to do after he graduated.

 

He and Jack have discussed this immensely over the last few months, and that was all Jack’s fault. He’d been pestering a little to make sure that Bitty didn’t actually have any solid plans so he could put his own plan in action. At some times, he hated bringing up the subject at all because Bitty would become upset or bothered because he really had no clue what to do besides move back to small-town Georgia. Jack knew Bitty well enough to know he would rather write a million thesis papers before he did that.

 

But Jack had a surprise for Bitty today, a sort of graduation present. Hopefully, it would rid Bitty of his worries.

 

Eventually, the campus pulled into view and Jack breathed a sigh of relief. He was right on time for the meet up at the Haus before they all traveled to the pond together.

 

As soon as he walked in, he was tackled into a hug by Shitty, who was yelling at him for the goal last night. “It was a fucking beaut! I nearly cried from how beautiful it was.”

 

“Alright Shitty, let the hockey player breathe. Last thing we need is the Falcs coming after us because their star center can’t make the next game.”

 

“Though, I think Boston might thank you for it.”

 

“For sure, and possibly the Sharks.”

 

Jack grinned and hugged Lardo before bumping fists with Holster and Ransom. “Nice to see you guys.”

 

“Dude.” Nursey walked in at the moment, followed by Dex and Chowder. “You might wanna tone down the press voice. I think Bits will bite your head off for it.”

 

Dex rolled his eyes at Nursey’s words and told Jack, “Bitty's a bit stressed right now.”

 

Jack rose an eyebrow. “Why?”

 

Shitty shook his head, “I didn’t make it in time, man. Your parents went to pick up his parents from the airport.”

 

Jack blinked, “Oh.” It wasn’t necessarily a crisis, but he could see why Bitty would be a bit worked up by it.

 

Chowder was moving from foot to foot anxiously, “Yeah! I tried to get him to feel better, but he’s still on the phone. And, I know I shouldn’t interrupt him, so I’m just waiting for him to finish before I go back up. But you’re here now Jack! So, that might make him feel better!”

 

Jack nodded, patting Chowder’s shoulder, “I’ll go see how he is.”

 

Jack climbed the stairs quickly, hoping that Bitty wasn’t _too_ wound up. Knowing Bits, though, this was pretty much his definition of a crisis.

 

He walked into Bitty’s room to see Bitty up and pacing, talking too rapidly on the phone to notice him at first.

 

“No mama, Mr. and Mrs. Zimmermann should be there soon.” He took a breath and glanced at the clock on his desk. “Well, maybe you should call him? I’m sure he’ll- No, they left a while ago. The ceremony doesn’t start for a while.” Bitty looked up and noticed Jack in the room, his eyes lighting up and Jack grinned. “Mama, message me when y’all- oh! Great! I’ll see you soon then. Bye.”

 

Bitty hung up and Jack crossed the room in a few, swift strides, wrapping his arms around Bitty easily.

 

Bitty sighed as Jack rested his chin on his head after pressing a kiss to his hair. “You’re here.”

 

“Of course, Bits. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. But, don’t listen to the soundbites from today’s press, eh?”

 

Bitty giggled, tightening his grip around Jack’s torso before pulling back. “I won’t. Though I can’t promise you the boys won’t try to send us the highlights.” He looked up at him, brown eyes full of so much concern that Jack’s heart tightened in his chest. “It wasn’t too bad was it? I hope they went easy on you. Your goal last night should speak for you.”

 

Jack laughed softly, pressing a light kiss to Bitty’s forehead. “It was fine. George kept the reporters in check and I was out in maybe thirty minutes.” Jack brushed his hand against Bitty’s cheek, his fingers trailing to the slightly longer than usual hair at the nape of his neck. “What about you? Dex and Nursey said you’re a little strained right now.”

 

Bitty sighed again, his face falling into Jack’s chest. “I’m fine.” His voice came out muffled against Jack’s tie. “Just…”

 

“Worried about out parents spending time together?” Jack guessed.

 

Bitt wiggled in Jack’s arms, groaning in response.

 

“It can’t be that bad, Bits.”

 

Bitty shot Jack a look. “Last thing I need is our dad’s bonding over future prospects and our mom’s gossiping about…things.”

 

“Things?”

 

“Don’t start with me, Mr. Zimmermann.”

 

Jack tried to hold back his smile as he leaned down and left a small kiss on Bitty’s lips. Jack sighed happily, reaching for another kiss before pulling away to look at Bitty again. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. Bonding is a good thing right? Especially if it’s our parents.”

 

Bitty bit his lip, “I suppose…”

 

It was quiet for a moment and Jack tilted his head. “What else is wrong, Bits?”

 

Bitty buried his face into Jack’s chest for a moment, quietly collecting himself. Jack didn’t say anything, he knew that Bitty just needed to have a moment, he understood entirely. All Jack had to do was hold him.

 

He ran his hands through Bitty’s hair gently, waiting patiently for Bitty to talk.

 

“I just…what am I supposed to do after this?”

 

It was quiet for a moment, neither of them said anything.

 

He knew how much this was killing Bitty, and he wished, more than anything, he could tell him exactly what he should do after this.

 

_Patience._

 

Instead, he gently grabbed Bitty’s chin and made him look at him. He nearly said everything when he saw the worried look in Bitty’s eyes. “We’ll figure it out, Bits…together. I promise. It’ll be fine.”

 

Bitty sighed, eyes flashing away from Jack’s for a moment. “Yeah…okay.”

 

Jack hummed, trying not to give into temptation, and pressed one more kiss against Bitty's lips. "C'mon. I think Chowder might be a bit worried about you. He looked like he was going to come up here if I didn't say I would."

 

Bitty smiled, letting Jack go and grabbing his hand, "Oh lord, bless that child."

 

They made their way downstairs to see their parents already sitting on the plastic covered toxic couch with the rest of their teammates. Lardo and Shitty were talking to Alicia while Holster held Bob’s attention. Ransom and Dex were talking to Coach, laughing about something. And Chowder and Nursey held Suzanne’s attention, though Chowder kept glancing at Bob as if to make sure he didn’t just suddenly disappear.

 

“Ah! There’s the graduate!” Coach jumped up to shake his son’s hand and hug him as Suzanne placed a kiss on his cheek.

 

Jack smiled as his own parents made their way to congratulate him in the same manor, chuckling lightly at the small blush on Bitty’s cheeks.

 

He made his way towards Bitty and wrapped his arm around his shoulder, “We should start making our way to the quad, eh?”

 

They were as loud as Samwell knows the hockey team to be as they made their way to the quad. Jack tightened his hand around Bitty’s as he saw him tear his eyes away from the moving van, a small reminder to his promise.

 

Bitty sighed and gave him a small smile, that he returned.

 

Graduation was how all graduations were. The only thing Jack cared about was seeing Bitty cross the stage and have his diploma handed to him. He had to be shaken by Lardo to remember to actually take pictures with the camera he brought.

 

He was sure a picture wouldn’t do justice to the smile Bitty had when he heard the cheers from their section.

 

And, afterwards, everyone decided to skip the alumni get-together and head straight to Jerry’s at Bitty’s request, to enjoy a light lunch before heading back to the Haus.

 

The entire lunch was seemingly happy; everyone was talking and laughing, enjoying Jerry’s coffee and food. Jack, his arm around the back of Bitty’s chair, focused on Bitty more than the questions directed at him about postseason. He could see the strain in his eyes and the small frown at the corner of his lips when he thought no one was looking. He noticed that Bitty’s legs never settled and his hands continuously tapped out a beat he could not recognize.

 

Jack wanted to take his hand, wanted to kiss him, wanted to tell him and make everything alright for him. But he had to wait.

 

The walk back to the Haus was eventful. Ransom and Holster took it upon themselves to carry Bitty the entire way, cheering and waving the graduation cap at everyone who bothered to glance their way.

 

And Jack couldn’t help but feel love and grateful for his past d-men. The laughter coming from Bitty and the excited smile made up for his entire, anxious afternoon.

 

He watched as everyone filled the living room, sitting on every available surface, as Bitty made his way into the kitchen, no doubt looking for the pie he probably already made.

 

Jack followed Bitty into the kitchen, ignoring the looks and smiles their parents shot him.

 

Now, now was the time.

 

Bitty stood at the counter, cutting each of the four different pies he had. Jack moved behind him, wrapping his arms around Bitty’s waist and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “I’m so proud of you, Bits.”

 

He felt the disappointed sigh more than heard it. “Thanks, honey. But I still need to think about what I’m going to start doing. No amount of celebration is going to change what I’m already startin’ to think about.”

 

“Well, I…actually wanted to ask you something.”

 

Bitty put the knife down and turned in Jack’s embrace. “What’s wrong sweetheart?”

 

_Now’s the time._

 

This moment was something that Jack had been planning out, dreaming about, since he told George about the two of them. He’s been hoping, more than anything, that Bitty would accept him without a second thought, but Jack’s anxious mind still raced and all the possibilities of rejection played out in his head.

 

“Honey?” Bitty ran his fingertips along Jack’s cheek gently and Jack leaned into it without even thinking. “What is it?”

 

Jack’s hand came up to grab Bitty’s and he pressed a kiss to the center of his palm. He felt the warmth spread from his lips to clench at his heart as he looked back at Bitty’s round, brown eyes.

 

“Will you move in with me?”

 

It was a moment before anything happened. Bitty simply stared up at Jack, mouth slightly open before he squeaked out, “What?”

 

“Will you move in with me? In Providence?”

 

“I- you want me…to move in with you?”

 

Jack tightened his grip on Bitty’s hand slightly, trying to relax and not let his anxiety get to him. _Let him think it through._ “Yes, but only if you want to. I’ve already talked to your parents. The moving van can easily be changed to head to my apartment.”

 

Bitty seemed at a loss for words and Jack could tell he was about to start his argument. “I know what you’re going to say. But I don’t care who knows. It’s why I’ve already told George. I never wanted you to deal with it while you were studying. But, now that you’re done, I want to come out.”

 

“Oh…oh, _Jack_.”

 

Bitty’s eyes were watering and his hand on his chest was now gripping Jack’s shirt tightly, but it was oddly comforting.

 

“Bitty…I’ve wanted this since we’ve started dating. It was never about worrying about my career, I was never worried about it. I knew people would judge me and that they would hate me, but I’ve had that since I hit the ice when I was a kid. I know what it’s like. I didn’t want _you_ to figure that out until you were ready. And I don’t want you to be a forced secret. Because you’re worth so much more than that.” Jack tightened his arm around Bitty’s waist. “I want this if you want this.”

 

Suddenly, Bitty surged forward and kissed Jack as forcibly as he could. He felt Bitty’s arms wrap around his neck as his own settled on Bitty’s waist. And, despite the urgency he felt from Bitty, he could feel his own heart clenching and he couldn’t even focus on the anxiety eating at him because Bitty hasn’t really answered yet.

 

Bitty pulled away and Jack noticed the tears shinning in his eyes. “Yes, yes, _yes_! Of course I’ll move in with you. I’d love that more than anything!”

 

And, just like that, everything was right with Jack’s life and the tension was gone from his shoulders and he couldn’t feel the anxiety or pressure anymore.

 

Then it was loud and people were screaming. Jack realized that their parents must have told everyone else that this was going to happen because they were under a pile of their old hockey team, their _friends_ , and surrounded by their parents. Everyone was hugging them and pressing kisses to their cheeks, words of congratulations thrown in between it all.

 

Jack couldn’t even focus on the embarrassment that his dad was probably behind this because he was too aware of Bitty in his arms, laughing at everyone around them and accepting their cheers.

 

He smiled, staring at Bitty until he met his eyes and Jack noticed true happiness shinning in them. The warm brown, that had been masked by anxiety and worry earlier, were bright and watery. Jack smiled wider, leaning down to press a loving kiss to his forehead.

 

Sometimes it’s hard, but it’s also worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I hope you had as much fun reading this as I had writing this! Enjoy the rest of the bang and everyone’s pieces. Also, shout out to my beta, E, and [Cam](https://camillo1978.tumblr.com/) for the amazing art! It’s absolutely stunning!
> 
> My [tumblr](http://smolbittle.tumblr.com)!


End file.
